5.20AM now.
And I am still awake.
What's wrong with my body clock.
Hahahaz I don't know why so many people are complaining that they are bored.
There are so many things to do.
Watch dramas, tale care of gardens.
Lolz whatever.
Read Gifford's blog earlier on.
And I must say.
I have been impressed with his writing, and still am.
There's always something special in the way he write.
Something hiding behind those humour he included in each and every blog post.
I'll try and unravel that secret !
/AnnWai.
2.17PM.
I just woke up.
In my dreams I dreamt that he didn't care about me again.
I swear my sense of fashion sucks.
I was wearing a pink dress and what.
Green scarf ?!
I fainted when I started walking away from him while he was just staring out of the window.
I didn't want to.
It's like there were so many occasions (not in dream) where I felt weak and can just black out when I was arguing with him.
My stomach will be very upsetted and I will just feel weak.
I guess there'll be people or even himself think that I am using this to gain his pity.
No way, I don't need his pity.
=) I don't need anyone to pity me.
And I am gonna learn to stop pitying myself too.
I wanna be like Kyo.
Keke she inspires me alot.
I miss loving life =) .
Furthermore.
If the person you love don't love you back as much, all the more you should love yourself =D !
I am loving myself.
Keke.
/AnnWai.
9.45PM.
Darling said he was sad that my blog was locked this morning.
Hmmz, I have no specific reason why I choose to lock my blog either.
Today is the second day of trying to be happy like I promised myself.
And so far, it's going good.
Often, I am sad because of things I can't seem to let go.
For instance, relationship.
It never never easy to start it, not to mention, ending it.
Giving up always hurts, and require alot of courage.
And well, I guess, I am not that brave enough.
But besides being happy, I wanna be brave it.
When it's time to let go, I wanna be able to do so =) .
Yesterday, I happened to stumble across Eddie's Facebook.
It sort of appeared at the side column for the Facebook thing.
Well, perhaps it's Heaven's will.
It's a good thing I guess.
Because when I saw what were written on the wall of that Facebook, I know that this owner has changed alot since the day we went out separate ways.
Personally, I hate changes because it means I have to adapt to a new style.
Yet it's annoying how important to be able to adapt to changes fast because change is the only thing that is constant in this world.
Sigh.
And this change that I mentioned with regards to the guy above?
Well, it's just.
I don't know, I probably can't accept it.
Thoughts of patching up with him, ain't that strong as before anymore.
Because I have accepted the fact that even if we patch up, things will be far from before and all those beautiful memories, well, it would be gone, replaced with bad memories.
=) , so I'll let those memories be cherished and kept deep inside me, where I won't wanna touch them anymore.
But I still hope that I have a chance to tell him the sorries and the thank yous I never had a chance to say to him.
Because if this guit stays, I can never move on properly.
As for relationship now.
Well, I don't know.
But I will let nature takes its course.
Darling mentioned before, when he's in a relationship, he will give his all.
I will choose to believe this sentence because when he said it, it wasn't to sweet talk me.
But he was telling his friend.
I don't know how much he means that now, but I shall trust him with the remaining pieces of my heart for the last time.
Sorry for not being a girl who forgives and forget that easily.
I am not that magnanimous especially when it comes to relationship.
Once hurt, scarred forever.
That's me.
Sometimes.
When hurt, all one needs is an apology, an explanation, and a hug from the person who let him/her down.
I wish he knew this.
/AnnWai.
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