Read Sweetheart's blog yesterday and I came across this part when she used this trick whereby she fake sleep but actually she's awake and she will pay attention to what people say or do to find out what is their true opinions or feelings towards her.
And there was once she did that, and she felt her ex covering the blanket for her and saying "good night laopo I love you" to her.
I wouldn't deny but I have done it too.
I remember there was once.
I was sleeping in his bed.
And I subconsciously dreamt of them.
Eddie and Alee.
And I kept calling "dear" and "dar" and I felt him stirred.
That kept up.
And I thought I heard his heart shattered because his voice sounded a little distressed when he whispered while hugging me, something like "I wish I know who you really love, but I really love you".
Can't remember but I remember that feeling I had, when I felt this very dejected, and heart sinking aura embracing me and him on that queen size bed.
It was cold, yet warm.
It was one of those memories I will categorize under "Our moments".
Our moments are those times when it was just you and me, and I seriously can feel just us slowly knitting tightly together.
Before everything starts unthreading themselves and falling apart.
躺在床上的我，有点困。
但睡不着。
听着音乐的我，想放轻松。
但心和思却四处狂奔。
我搞不懂男女之情。
真正爱一个人，是怎么样的？
真正爱一个人，你会放手吗？
真正爱过的话，感情能淡忘吗？
是我自己的问题吗？
是我自己看不开吗？
还是因为我不想放开？
我不明白，为什么有些人可以三天两头换男女朋友。
对我来说，重新认识一个人好累。
我不明白，为什么有些人可以很轻易地说爱，然后很轻易地说放手。
我更不明白，为什么有些人要得到真爱，可是却从来都不肯放进全力维护感情，或在跟一个爱自己的人在一起的时候还和其他异性朋友走得过近。
感情，不是玩具。
可是为什么，以我看，那么多人把感情当作玩具？
好玩吗？
打算玩一辈子吗？
跟很多人上床，值得骄傲吗？
没能力工作就先有小孩，很厉害吗？
可悲。
可笑。
所以，我这个老古板就呆在这里发愁。
愁更愁。
蔡家辉，李煌奇，爱情对你们来说是什么？
你们有真正爱过我吗？
还是说，我只是你们解闷的花生米？
我努力相信你们不是那种人。
但残酷的事实摆在眼前。
恭喜你们，放下得那么快。
自由了，快乐了。
快要找到新女朋友了。
LOLZ.
突然之间，我觉得我好悲哀。
好想哭。
If only there's a guy for me, who'd be able to see through the tears behind my smiles and laughters.
Who'd not say a word to me but just hold me tight in his arms when I am breaking down or feeling upset.
Who's chase after me or look for me when he can't contact me.
Who'd worry and get jealous for me, but tell me in a nice way.
Guys say girls are complicated.
Are we?
We're just more delicate.
Emotionally.
Most of the time, if guys put themselves in our shoes, they'll be able to understand as well.
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