Love is no fool, dream come true!

3.24PM.
I am eating Prawn Aglio Olio at Pizza Hut at AMK !
Heehee.
But before we ate...

I love the way you look at me this way, darling =) .

My hair is forever messy T_T .

3.49PM.

Cheesy mushroom !

Chick-ken !

Duck !

I am very full now.
Keke.
So is Darling.
We're on our way to The Cathay to watch the Hunger Games.
=D the new dishes that came out at Pizza Hut is not bad.
^^ !

1.18AM.
Gonna sleep.
But I shall jot down what I did for the day before before sleeping.
Well after eating, Darling and I cabbed down to The Cathay, to watch Hunger Games.

The show is not bad alright.
I love the technology inside.
It's not as spectacular as I had expected it to be, but it wasn't disappointing either.
But it's disturbing how human beings could love violence so much.

This show reminds me of a particular quote, "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity."
I was praying throughout the whole show that such situation does not happen in real life.

Besides the above thought, this show also shows how the rich can be so selfish.
Building their entertainment on the sufferings of others.
Lolz, that's cruel.
Inhumane.

Nevertheless, it's a rather good show.
And it sort of trigger me to want to read the book.
So I shall read it after the current one that I am reading.

After watching the movie, Darling and I went to Bugis Street.
And he bought me a long dress.
Probably the first long dress in my teenage life hahahaz.
Pretty, but I wanna get a cardigan to go with it, else my shoulder fats will probably show.

He sent me home after eating.
Keke, I fell asleep on his strong and confortable shoulder.
It felt just almost just like before.
Because when I first fell asleep on his shoulder, it was just a friend kinda thing.
The shyness without awkwardness.
But now, well, forget about the shyness.
But I still enjoy his company.
When we're in good mood.

Which leads me to think.
About how much we have been compromising in this relationship.
There was once I read this article saying if you really love someone, it's not about tolerating.
It's about compromising and accepting.
I guess, it's true.
Because there's a limit to tolerating.
And well, when you accept, it's really accepting.

I appreciate Darling's honesty to me these few days, I really do.
I have been keeping quite a number of things to myself, but I guess when Darling's being nice to me, all those doesn't matter much.

Sometimes when I don't probe, it's not because I am too lazy to care (an excuse I always try to convince myself it's true), or I don't wanna know the answer.
It's because I don't wanna let the question bugging me result in an argument.
What I really hope for is an assurance from him, an explanation.
Even when the answer is something I rather I not hear about.
Because I would take honesty any day as compared to lies.

If someone is honest about something that will hurt me, at least I can convince myself that person is honest.
But if that person lied, I don't know how to trust that person anymore.

Sometimes, I wish I can be like Sweetheart and Boon, putting their trust in each other.
I have been trying so hard.
Yet when flashbacks of how he lied and how he gave me the face that shows that he can't be bothered, I don't know how to give him the benefit of the doubt because before I can do that, my heart has already seem to sunk into a bottomless pit.

Nevertheless.
I can never seem to give up this relationship.
Because I cannot lie to anyone, lie to him, nor lie to myself that the element of love does not exist in this relationship I've spent the last few months holding on to.

Yesterday, while we were out at Serangoon Garden drinking, one of his friends asked how long we've been together.
He said near to a year.
And she replied that she thought we had been together longer than that.
Well, in fact, we could have been.
If we started counting from the day he held my hands and kissed me.
But that would mean he flirt with his ex behind my back, so I, took the decision upon myself and set the anniversary as 21 May, where I finally tried to convince myself to let go of those unhappy memories (which I almost succeed until evidences of how him being overly friendly with other girls started appearing in front of me).

Today, a surge of loneliness overwhelmed me.
=| , it started engulfing me when darling told me that he was going drinking with his friends later.
And he assured me that there're no girls.
I like the way he knows what I am thinking.

I don't know if I mind him drinking lolz.
If I mind, it's probably because I keep thinking alcohol can make him happier than I could.

And if I don't, it's because I trust him to take care of himself, to not fool around and I know that he has to have his social life too.

We tend to hold on tighter to things we are afraid of losing.
But often, we lose the things we love for that very same reason.
Oh that concept stated above has been in my mind all along alright.
Just that it has been buried deep inside me.
Until that day when I read Senior's Facebook or Twitter, whichever.
And I know perhaps I have been holding on to him too much.

I have no issue with his friend.
Even if he ganged up with Darling to make me worry about his location.
Really.
I just don't feel comfortable with his clubbing frequency.
It would be fine if not for sometimes he drag Darling along.
And that would be fine, really.
If not for the fact that I am currently still not yet 18 and I cannot enter alot of the Thai clubs that they go.

That day, how I was left stranded and crying, and alone finding my way home will always be etched in my mind.
Just like this song I am listening currently.
Forever and always.
Yea, forever and always, I will never forget the helplessness that I felt, the loneliness I felt, and the cruelty he proved to me that he can shower one besides care and attention.

Enough of ranting.
Lolz, it's time I sleep.
Else, my plan on being happy is gonna be screwed )= .

Keke.

/AnnWai.

PS: I wish there's a manual for love, a manual that comes with formulae, just like how a textbook is, study and excel.
PSS: I don't always fall in love, but when I do, it's for life.
PSS: Locking blog might be a good idea to see who actually cares about me to update themselves on what's happening in my life, seeing the people who asked me why I locked my blog.
PSSS: Looking at all these food pictures again make me feel like eating them.
PSSSS: The 'S's are looking ridiculous =D !

/AnnWai.