Haiz, do you know it feels like to have an interest, to like something, to love something yet the thing you're interested in, you like, and feel the love for hurts you in every single way?
It gives me the goosebumps.
Make my stomach churns.
And send a shiver down my spine.
That's the kind of thing Manchester United do to me now.
As well as United For United.
It's like.
I like United.
And I wish I am like witnessing every goal the team score.
With or without him.
But I can't physically because I don't have the channel and watching live streaming online makes me feel more vex when it keeps buffering.
Emotionally, I cannot tank.
Yet mentally, it's always how I wish I can watch it with him.
Everytime I see someone out on the streets wearing United jersey, I'll be reminded of him.
Everytime I see friends from U4U page post, I feel a little scared to see.
Because I feel so sick to the core that he actually cares about soccer more than he ever did for me.
As much as I love United.
United is like a thorn in me too.
All these time.
Me, spending time trying to blend into his world.
Trying to like what he like.
Which of course in the end I like it too myself.
Hahahaz.
Anyway.
Since post until like that le.
I shall have a Confession #2 bahz.
But this wasn't what I planned as my second confession.
But here goes.
Confession #2 - Although I always keep asking people pei me go Clubbing, I don't like to.
Reasons being.
• The music there is super loud !
• The people there more or less are not that decent.
• Smoke (maybe only Thai Clubs are like that).
So, why do I seem as though I like Clubbing?
Because I can never forget, the time when we were on bad terms.
And we were angry ;arg !
But he smuggled me into the club.
He used his body to block me from the bouncers' view.
And while I was watching the performance, he held my hands, got me off the tall chair I was sitting on (which he let me sat) and pulled me into his arms for a slow dance.
And there was this song that came on.
And he sang it to me while looking into my eyes.
Lolz, one of the best clubbing memories.
One of the sweetest memories.
I cannot tank.
I love this guy.
But why did our love turn out this way ); .
2.55AM.
Back to post again.
Sometimes, I just can't stop memories from invading my mind.
I need some time off things off him.
He's happy without me, or that's great.
I am sincerely glad he's doing so fine without me.
It shows how much I dragged him down so at least he's free now.
But another part of me selfishly feels sad because I cannot get over the fact that he got over me so soon and is living his life so well now.
Lolz, I'm a bitch.
;/ .
Not that I like to raise up the past but yeahz.
At least...
I am facing up to what I'm feeling.
And by pouring them out, I hope to let go of them one by one too ;) .
Saranghae.
