But once again, before I start on anything, I want to blog about how I feel.
I don't need pity from anyone, honestly.
But I need people to empathize with me.
I don't understand why God is bringing people who will toy with my feelings into my life.
If that's a punishment to the bad deeds I did in my past life and this life, let this be over.
Please, just take away all these sufferings.
Rip out my heart, take away my soul, but stop tearing me on the inside, piece by piece.
I know guys and girls think differently, I have tried to put myself in his shoes.
I have told myself not to expect anything in return.
And I don't, and well, the least he can do for me is not to lie to me.
It's not as if I am against him watching porn.
Why act innocent when I said we could watch together?
Why reject me?
And then lie to me, when I am not even against it in the first place?
Love is a game ain't it?
I suck in games, no now I am losing.
And I want to surrender, because I can't handle it anymore.
Darling, if you want to let go, let me go gently, alright?
That's the last thing I beg you.
I won't ask you to change for me.
Not your character, not your way of life.
I love you thus I want you to be happy.
And if watching porn makes you happy, go ahead, watch it.
If drinking beer, watching soccer, hanging out with friends in clubs makes you happy, go ahead.
If bringing me along is a burden, drop me, but I repeat, gently.
It's the last thing you can do for me.
Darling, I love you, so I am gonna try and let you go.
I don't want regrets, so if possible, I ask for you, to try and finish what you started off with me.
I won't bother you anymore, I guess, as long as we talk things out and make it clear.
Pardon me, forgive me.
For my selfish decision on my part alone to let go of this relationship.
To not being able to forgive and forget about this time where you lie to me.
For not being able to give myself to you.
And lastly, for appearing in your life.
I am sorry ;
But I love you ;
And thus ,
I'mma let you go .
I wish you happiness, and hope you can find the right girl you like.
One who can satisfy you truly.
One who support United more that I do.
One who can hold liquor better than I do.
One who can understands you more than I do.
One who is more forgiving than I can be about anything.
One who can forget about your past, and treasure you truly in the present.
One who cares about you more than I do.
One who can cheer you up when you are down, and share your joy while amplifying it.
One who will see you as her one and only, and start up a family with you, giving birth to the cute babies you always wanted.
It's not easy, darling, but I will do it.
Time will heal, although memories will always be here to stay.
But memories fade as time passes and that's when I think I will be okaez.
In the past, I will confront you face to face, start up a fight and expect you to give in, but I wouldn't anymore.
I know how you will react.
Because you've change.
You'll just abandon me like how you did.
But it's alright now, you don't have to give in to me anymore.
=) , Jason Lee Huang Kee, take care of yourself.
I said I'll love you always, I mean it.
But you don't have to keep that in mind.
Be happy.
/AnnWai.
You said that you would treat me right ;
But you were just a waste of time .