Words are powerful.
And language is a beautiful thing.
In Chinese, each character, especially traditional characters are really beautiful because from the character itself, you can really see the meaning in it.
I really love traditional Chinese.
In English, I really like the way people can form sentences with talents a little lesser than Shakespeare.
I love Shakespeare's language.
One of my favourites from him would be, "The sun was not so true unto him as he is unto me."
=) .
I have been observing.
How people talk.
How they form sentences verbally and otherwise.
Blogs, SMS, Facebook statuses and even in Audii.
Just earlier on, two girls were playing with me in a game room.
I was using my guy character, and one of them asked, "Benn lust?"
What she wanted to ask was if I am lusty.
But she thought 好色 = lust and by directly translating it to English, it would make sense.
Apparently, it doesn't.
So I replied, "I am not lust. And I am not lustful either."
Hahahaz.
Another mistake I can't stand people making is things like "you are" and "your" or "then" and "than".
There's a difference.
Another more ridiculous one is "there" and "their" =_= .
I am not saying my command in language is invincibly strong but at least, I would prevent myself making those mistakes stated above, and of course, those not.
It's funny how people think English is easier than Chinese, so they rather communicate in English yet screwing up the language more than how they screw their Chinese LOLZ.
Okaez whatever.
The main point of this post is that after observing for a certain period of time I really came to love English as much as I love Chinese.
The way the punctuations are located, the way people type.
People have different style in typing.
Lemme give you a few examples.
• iie em berii kewtzxc
• i r kewt
• i am cute
• I am cute .
• I am cute.
Above are just some of the examples.
There are more variations to that one sentence of course.
For me?
I usually go like, "I cute." =D .
I like to add "z" behind some words.
Words like "sian", "lol", "sia" and "haha".
It used to be adding "s" but I changed that after year 2010 passed and I wanted to try forgetting him.
Being a different me, and the first thing I wanted to try was a different way of typing.
So I start on a new line after every sentence, and used "okaez" instead of the shared "kkkk" between us.
I used to use "LMHO" too.
But that became out of usage after I moved on from Thalidomide (another of my characters in Audii).
I like using LMHO, back in Novice, friends would know who I am when I used it even if I was using a sub account.
Hahaz.
When people copy the way I talk (I know they copied because they used to talk in their own style), be it partially or wholely, I don't know to feel honoured or invaded.
LOLZ, it's like, I came up with my way of talking to distinct myself from the rest.
Usually, if my typing style changes (including emoticons), it probably means I was traumatized badly.
That is why I feel uneasy when friends sometimes change their smiley, even if it's from a :) to a :D.
>< !
The set of emoticons I am using now is the set of emoticons that I started using the first time I tried adding emoticons into my online chatting.
Which is around the same time I know Precious, Sweetheart and Dar.
Hahahaz.
Nuff of my emoticons analysis.
Another conclusion that I wanna make is.
Language is a powerful tool.
It can be used to bond people together.
It can also be used to break those bonds.
You can use words to comfort someone.
But you can use words to tear the same person down.
There's a quote that says.
"Sticks and stones can break my bone but words can never hurt me."
I personally disagree.
You, the person reading this now.
Have you been hurt by words before?
Now think back.
Have you ever used your words to hurt anyone?
There are many self-centered people who think they are right.
Who think they'll always be the best.
And whatever they do not see eye-to-eye to is wrong.
So they pass judgements.
These judgements are cruel.
But really, who are these people to criticize others?
I think I read this from Holy Bible or something.
"Let him, the one without sin, to cast the first stone."
Something along those lines.
I don't think anyone has any rights to judge anyone at all.
Not just simply because no one is perfect.
Even a perfect man doesn't have the rights to be judgemental, to criticize.
This is because everyone has a different view to seeing the same thing.
Religion is one example.
With no offence to anyone, there are freethinkers who believe in every single God and devils and there are freethinkers who believe in none.
There are Christians who believes in God, in Jesus and thinks the other religions are rubbish, and those who do not believe in what they believe will perish in Hell.
But there are also Christians who believe in what they believe but also respect and believe, not as strongly compared to their own, in other religions.
So, how do you wanna judge these people if let's say, you're a Muslim?
If you're a Buddhist?
A Taoist?
=| .
I really hate hate hate.
Hate to the max, people who pass judgements to others.
Who are they to hurt people with words?
Who are they to be all almighty?
Di uhz, if you're this, please know that I feel for you, Loonies feel for you.
We have all been judged.
Be it in school, by our parents, our friends.
And for me, my boyfriend's good friend k.
It doesn't make me feel any better the fact that my boyfriend didn't asked her to shut up about he because he loves me.
The way I got to know about how she stabbed me even though I don't even know her irks me, tore me apart.
I was being ostracized by my secondary school classmates because I didn't hang out with them during class gatherings and they think I am a computer geek.
But in actual fact, I didn't have extra allowance to.
But they didn't understand.
What can I do?
Hahaz, put up a strong front and tell myself it's fine being who I am.
And one day I'll find a group of friends who accept me for who I am despite my flaws, my unexpected mood swings and my perspective in life.
Guess what?
Eventually, after years.
Years of being single and alone in school, I found them.
I found Brother Pinguo, I found Precious Kyo, I found Sweetheart Charlotte, I found Loonies and I found my girlfriend babe Jess (who loves her Dipsy more than she loves me =_=).
Even friends have disagreements somtimes.
Ask Kyo, how many times I argued with her for Loonies stuff?
Asked Pinguo, how many times I don't see eye to eye with him on minor and major things?
Ask Jess, how many times we argued for Audii thing and the blog wars we have fought.
Yet what matters at the end of the day is we accept these differences with judgements and be bonded like a family.
Ask me if I would sacrifice my life for any of them and I would tell you, "Yes I do."
Di, those people in your school may think highly of themselves.
They can jeer at you, mock at you and hurl hurtful comments at you.
But who are they to you?
My ex used to say.
Humans are weird, always choosing to remember the bad things than to remember the good ones.
That is so true ain't it?
Think back, when you're young.
Your parents, haven't they praised you for anything?
Your grandma who you loved so much, haven't she been saying good things about yourself?
You're forgetting all those good things they say.
Who are the they?
People who you should mind, people who should motivate you to grow up to be a better man.
Yet what is happening?
You are letting those bad comments define who you are.
They are changing you to someone you're not.
And who are the they?
Morons who you should just shut out of your life because they're not related to you by blood.
Idiots who happens to be part of your growing-up process.
Nimwits who doesn't have EQ.
Simpletons who can only hurt others so much with words.
They are people you should shut out from your life.
Since I've started on this, then I shall just continue on it k.
As for the homework and stress part, it's seriously part and parcel of life.
I didn't get through my secondary life with ease you know.
You've got any idea how many times I cried because I didn't understand what's y=mx+c ?
It took me one whole year to understand it.
Yea, I failed Maths, from Sec 2 all the way to start of Sec 4.
Besides handling the pressure from not understanding lessons, I have to cope with backstabbings from a classmate I trusted in Primary school.
I didn't know the backstabbing came from her until the day we were supposed to pick subject combination for streaming.
Adding on to all those shits were the consistent heated debate between my mother and I.
And all those continued until the end of my Sec 4 life because I met the love of my life and he dumped me just before 'O' Levels.
I didn't have life much easier than you had you know.
I thought of suiciding when he dumped me.
But, when people don't love you, all the more you should learn to love yourself.
Because no one else besides your parents can love you more than yourself.
And let's face the stark nature that parents cannot take care of us for our whole entire life.
As for your crush.
Before you tell your crush you love her, learn to love yourself.
It's like being a teacher.
How can a teacher teach you the concept of y=mx+c without them themselves comprehending it, agree?
And for love, well, how can you love another when you don't know how to love yourself?
Di, each individual is unique.
That doesn't make anyone less special just because everyone is.
That just means you are the only you and everyone is just different.
No matter how similar two people can be, there'll always be differences.
And people click because they can get pass the big and small differences.
You said you don't have friends out there who are true to you?
Here we are.
Me, Charlotte, Kyo.
We're on LINE.
And there's LaiYi as well.
We've always been here for you, talk to you, listen to you.
Although we don't have a chance to be physically there for you, but we're always here spiritually for you, can you see?
Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Justin =) , I've thought of death many times, especially when conflicts occur in kinships, friendships, relationships.
But dying for those conflicts ain't worth because I wanna be in the future I want for myself.
As for you.
You may still be young to fully understand this but, instead of replaying what those airheads said about you, try diverting the focus to what kinda person you wanna be in the near future and the future.
What kind of future you want, and what ambition you think you wanna keep in view.
It doesn't harm to daydream sometimes.
Because comparing daydreaming and replaying criticisms, I think the former is a healthier choice for both the mind and body.
And that reminds me as well, please take care of your body.
=) take care of yourself emotionally and physically.
Justin Di, I am really sorry I cannot be there with you to constantly tell the opposite of what they tell you, or fight those criticisms the instant they hit you or even before they hit you, sometimes being impatient and harsh to your attitude towards life and everything, but rest assure, you'll always be my friend =) .
I am really sorry that at such tender age, you have to face freaks like them.
But be brave k?
You're like an unpolished gem.
You can disagree, but everyone is.
And everyone will find their talent when they work hard enough.
So make sure you'll be that gem that outshine those stones that try to make you become one of them.
=) , you don't believe you can, but you have people like me who believe you can, just like how you always believe I can be stronger for all the obstacles I face.
Jy, Justin Di.
=) , Loonies' behind you.
This is also for all the people who have been hurt by criticisms.
You are who you are.
Don't let people who judges make you become someone else.
Be yourself.
And for whoever reading this, don't ever judge.
You'll never know.
What goes around comes around !
Okaez, I am really sleepy.
It's like 1.45AM and I have spent more than 1 hour doing this post on my phone )= !
Pardon me if there's any word or sentence that doesn't make sense LOLZ.
/AnnWai.
