To Miss Yee Sok See.

Many people like to emo over many stuff.
For teenagers nowadays, relationships, followed by friendship.
For adults, work, marriage, finance, etc.
Some people post it on Facebook, on Twitter and make it known to the world about their problems.
While some people like me try to solve those problems while ranting a little on social networking sites.

Sometimes, as I read those status posted up by those emo kids.
How they wanna die because they just lost the love of their life, I don't know to laugh or to feel pissed.
Because life is so vulnerable.
Losing someone you love is painful but life goes on.

Which is why, I try to stop being that emo kid that I was, tried to be happy.
Even though I broke up with Eddie.
I wanted to stay single, stay happy, be independent.
Until well, yea, I got into a relationship and slowly got pulled up and down by it.

That's not the point.
My main point is.
I am trying to be happy because I realize how vulnerable life can be.

Sometimes, when I walk on the street, or travelling on the bus, I will ask myself.
What if I die at the instant.
Will anyone miss me?
Will there be any words I left unsaid?
Will I die with regrets?

I know there'll be people who will miss me.
Some for a while, some a little longer, and some who will miss me for the rest of their lives.

There'll be many words I left unsaid.
But I am glad because whatever I wanna say, I say it whenever I got the chance.
Words like "I love you" , I say it to my family, my friends, my boyfriend.
Lest I won't have the chance to do it if my life was suddenly taken away from me.

I will die with regrets.
How can I not?
When I haven't bring my mum for a world tour.
When I haven't become the best DJ in Singapore?

Why the sudden inspiration to write this?

Because I just got shocked.
By a news my secondary schoolmate just passed on to me.
That an English teacher in my school just passed away.

My class used to jeer at her,  mimic her for her actions.
The way she puts her finger over her lips to signal silence while talking to us and then pointing to the projector.
Her hair would usually be in a mess.
It was almost the shape of a mushroom.
And may students will laugh at her behind her back.
Sometimes in front of her, in class, not letting her hear of course.
They said it looked like wig.
I agreed it does, but it was never me who make fun of her.
At least, not that I remember.
I am those who will always have this minimum respect for teachers.
Even for those I don't like.

Most teachers.

And she, had been kind to me.

Today, just a little while ago.
I was told she passed away because of cancer.

Does it explain the "wig"?
Is she really wore one.

To the students who used to jeered at her.
If her messy hair was really a wig she wore.
Are you happy to know you're spot on?
Does it make you noble to know she carried on teaching in school despite being down with cancer?

What did I say?
Don't judge.
You don't know the true story.

To Miss Yee.
Rest in peace.
I'll always remember you.